Paper Flowers
by Latanya Kassidy
Summary: A look at Brennan's childhood through the eyes of his older sister.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Mutant X or Brennan, however Kassidy is mine.

A/N: Hey guys! I was gonna wait to finish this fic before I posted it, but I got a tad bit excited. I've worked hard on this particular story so any feedback would be helpful. Also, Kassidy is not a Mary-Sue (at least I hope she doesn't come off that way). I started this fic a long time ago and actually named my account after her. Please let me know if I need to tone her down to make it more realistic. Um, ok I'm rambling now. Enjoy!

L.K.

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_Don't say I'm out of touch  
With this rampant chaos - your reality  
I know well what lays beyond my sleeping refuge  
The nightmare I built my own world to escape_

_Evanescence "Imaginary"

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Kassidy Mulwray silently gazed up through the bars of the jungle gym. A few rogue stars pierced through the smog and city lights to shine defiantly in the night sky. Kassidy had always loved the stars. She liked them even better when she was admiring them from the cool grass of a field, far away from the city. When she was little, her mommy and daddy took her on picnics in the countryside. They stayed there late into the night, lying on their backs, eating ice cream, and making up new constellations. As she got older things changed and they didn't go on picnics anymore. So Kassie had to settle for star gazing in the small park that lay a few blocks from her apartment. A few stars managed to shine through the night despite the city's best attempts to drown them out.

Kassidy felt Brennan's hands rubbing her arms gently in order to keep her warm. A small smile lifted her lips. He was always trying to protect her from everything. She was just as protective of him, of course, but that was different. She was his big sister so she was supposed to look out for him. She was older and wiser, so it was her responsibility. It was almost second nature to her now. The first thing she did when she woke up was to check on her brother. Perhaps that was a bit paranoid, but horrible things happened in the night. Newscasters spoke dispassionately of murders and rapes that occurred during the night. People in Kassie's own neighborhood never left the house after nightfall for fear of city gangs. Things weren't much better at home, though. Even in her family's apartment, the nighttime could bring terrible things with it. Sometimes she dreaded the night. She had always thought that the only good thing about the night was seeing the stars. The stars, however, were not visible from her bedroom so they did nothing to alleviate her fears.

At first, she had tried to stay awake to keep watch over herself and Brennan. After a week of keeping her terrified vigil, Kassidy was defeated by exhaustion. She surrendered and began, once again, to sleep fitfully through the horrifying night. She prayed that the nighttime terrors would never pass through her bedroom door. Brennan, who shared the bedroom with Kassidy, did not seem to fear the night. In fact he relished in the darkness that allowed him to escape into a world of fabulous dreams. He found comfort in the dream world. He did not have nightmares every night like his older sister. Kassie tried to understand how he could be so welcoming to the all-encompassing darkness. She simply could not see the beauty and safety it brought to him. Kassie knew that safety did not exist. They would never be safe. They could never let their guard down, not even for a minute. That was why the darkness frightened her. If she fell asleep she could not prepare herself for the attacks. She couldn't protect Brennan from the drunken rages and filthy, groping hands that so often arrived long before dawn.

Yet, when he was only four years old, Brennan told his sister that he would protect her during the night. She watched him during the day, so he would watch her during the night. She knew that this was impossible for him to do. How could he watch her if he was asleep? When she expressed her doubts to him he merely shook his head and stubbornly replied that he would take care of her. Oddly enough, despite her doubts, his words soothed Kassidy's fears. So, she never discouraged him. Even big sisters need protecting once in awhile.

Tonight, though, the only thing on her mind had been Brennan. With massive amounts of adrenaline pumping through her, she brought her younger brother to the relative safety of the park. Now, however, she had been abandoned by that adrenaline rush and was left drained. The events of that night were finally sinking in. The emotional and physical pain was unbelievable. She wasn't sure how much longer she would last like this. She was tired of the fighting, the screaming, and the pain. She just wanted to escape it all. The darkness, the alluring sleep was calling her and Kassie was finding it harder and harder to fight it. Not even the comforting beauty of the stars was enough to distract her troubled mind.

Kassidy sighed and tried to relax into the cool grass beneath her. The movement caused intense pain to course throughout her body. It was so unbearable, Kassidy felt as though she was on fire. Her gasp of pain was met with a concerned voice and gentle caress against her arm. Kassie murmured a reply to assure Brennan that she was fine and simply focused on the way his tiny hands ghosting over her arms. The repetitive motion was comforting. The dewy grass cushioned her body, and she welcomed the chilly breeze that calmed her fiery pain. She let her head fall back against Brennan's lap and felt his small body tense. She knew that he, also, was injured and was probably very skittish. She had to do something to reassure him or this night might break him. She would not let that happen. She sighed softly in frustration. They were too young for this. Kassidy knew that she had experienced more pain and tragedy than most people ever would and she was only fourteen-years-old. No matter how hard she tried to protect him, Brennan had been hurt just as much as she was. It wasn't fair for him to experience this at the age of ten. The two of them should be spending their childhood playing with friends, eating ice cream, and complaining about homework. Instead they were abused, neglected, and bullied at school. And on top of everything else they had to hide Brennan's secret. Kassie knew that they couldn't tell anyone about how special Brennan was. They wouldn't understand. They wouldn't understand that it was his unique personality, his soul, and not his gift that made him so special. Only Kassie understood and she refused to let others treat her brother like some sort of freak.

She slid her half lidded eyes upward to study Brennan's face. His skin was abnormally pale and covered in bruises and blood. The majority of his hair was sticking out at odd angles, yet a patch near the front was plastered to his head and thick with blood. His eyes were what really caught her attention. Brennan's beautiful mocha brown eyes had always been so expressive. He had already learned to keep himself closed off. He knew how to school his body language so that his attacker couldn't tell what he was feeling. Showing his emotions would give them power. They would merely use his reactions against him to scare him or provoke him into a fight. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, his eyes always betrayed him. If a person really took the time to look, she could easily read his true feelings in those wonderful eyes. At the moment they held an intense mixture of fear, pain, and exhaustion that broke Kassidy's heart.

Once again, the red-hot pain ripped through her body as she shifted her arm and gently took hold of her younger brother's hand. As she caressed it with her thumb, Kassidy allowed herself to look back on the events that brought the two siblings to that moment. She decided if she was to truly understand what had gone wrong she would have to go back to the beginning. She'd have to recall the day that the dominoes began to fall. Oddly enough, that was one of the happiest days of her life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own MutantX or any characters you recognize. Kassidy and Kyla, however, are all mine.

**A/N:** Hey guys! I'm finally updating. This is kinda a short chapter. It basically sets up the situation. Hopefully the next chapters will move a little quicker. Review please! I'm a bit of a review whore. You'll make my day! Enjoy

L.K.

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Kassidy Mulwray was the picture of innocent beauty. The five-year-old girl grinned as she skipped across the freshly watered grass. Her entire face seemed to glow with happiness. Her fair skin was bathed in sunlight. The sprinkling of freckles on her nose and cheeks melted together as her face scrunched up with suppressed giggles. Her gleaming, red hair was pulled into a long braid that bounced against her back as she pranced along. She was often told that she looked like her father. He, also, was a freckled, fair, redhead. Kassidy's resemblance to her mother was not quite as noticeable.

Unlike her daddy, who was 100 Irish, Kassie's mamma, Kyla Mulwray, had a mixed heritage. Kyla's mother was Irish, while her father was Spanish. It seemed as though the Spanish traits were more prominent in Kyla. She had large, dark brown eyes that matched her long, dark hair. Her skin was naturally tan and smooth. She was strikingly beautiful, and moved her tall body with a natural grace. Kassidy thought that her mother was the most beautiful woman in the world. She was always flattered when people compared her to her mother. The other women on their street often told her that she had her mother's eyes as well as her elegance.

Kassidy's brown eyes were currently shining with delight and her cat-like grace was forgotten as she happily galloped across the park. Her shoes made soft squelching noises in the soggy earth. Her mother would not be happy when she saw how dirty the little girl's clothes were. They were quite rumpled and mud was splattering onto her pretty, blue denim skirt as she skipped along. She wouldn't get in trouble for it, though. Today was a very good day.

When she glanced back at her mother, Kassidy realized that Mommy didn't notice how dirty her clothes were. Mommy was too happy to care about little things like clothes. She finally had her little boy back. She held him tightly in her arms and looked at him as though she had never seen him before. Brennan looked up at her with an adorable smile and giggled. Kassie laughed along with her brother. She stopped running and looked him over, just as her mother was doing. Mommy's Spanish heritage was more prominent in Brennan than in Kassie. His dark brown hair had grown long over the past months. It hung in his face obscuring his large, mocha brown eyes. His tan skin was paler than usual, but that was to be expected after spending months locked in a hospital.

Brennan was still a baby when he was diagnosed with a fatal disease. Mommy had not talked about it much. She never told Kassidy what was going on; instead she pretended to be happy and spent a lot of time with the two children. However, when Brennan got a bit older he became really sick. Mommy couldn't pretend anymore. She just told Kassie that Brennan was hurt deep inside him. When Kassie asked why the doctors didn't fix him, her mother had started crying and pulled her daughter into a tight hug. She had whispered, "They can't, baby. Bren is too special."

Kassie didn't understand, but she didn't want to upset her mommy. She just tried to be extra good and help take care of Brennan. He was always sick and the doctors at the hospital didn't know what to do for him. They were starting to lose hope until Mommy heard about a place called Genomex. The doctors at Genomex were using experimental science to cure sickly children. She was told that they had a great success in cases like Brennan's. Mommy told Kassidy that the doctors would be able to save Brennan. So, they brought Kassie's one-year-old brother to this "hospital" hoping for the best.

She was horrified when the doctor told her she would have to leave Brennan there. Kassie had jumped from her chair to scream at the doctor. She told him they wouldn't leave Brennan in a scary place like that. He was just a baby. He needed Kassie and Mommy to look after him. She even yelled at her mother for bringing them there. She was about to take her baby brother and run away from that place until the doctor reminded her that Genomex might be Brennan's only chance for survival. She finally calmed down enough to see the tears streaming from her mothers expressive eyes. Mommy was singing softly, trying to calm her son. He had been frightened by all of the yelling. Kassie watched through teary eyes, as Brennan trembled and wailed in her mother's arms. He was clutching his mother's shirt so tightly Kassie thought he might never let go. She couldn't leave him there. He was too little to be left alone. He was too scared to be away from his Mommy and big sister. But he was too sick to go home. After much persuasion and many more tears, Kassidy reluctantly left her brother there, promising to return for him soon.

That was four months ago. She and Mommy had tried to visit Brennan many times, only to be turned away by "sympathetic" receptionists. They were told that Brennan was a sensitive case and that he was unable to have visitors until his therapy was finished. Kassie knew that her mommy had been worried about Brennan. She had spent a lot of time staring out of the kitchen window in their little house. Kassie remembered that mommy used to do that a lot right after daddy was sent off to war. He left two months before Brennan was born. Mommy said that he was going away to be a hero. She told Kassie that they should all be proud of him. Kassie was mad at him though. He had been her hero, wasn't that enough for him? Why did he have to go all the way across the ocean to be a hero for people who would never even know him?

Those people had never played tag with him in the park. He hadn't helped them build forts out of couch cushions. He had never held them close when the thunder and lightening got too scary. Yet, Mommy said that was why they needed him. He had already done all those things and more for Kassie. Some people didn't have daddy's like hers to play with them and hold them. So she decided to loan out her hero, but only for a little while. She already missed him a lot and she wanted Brennan to meet their Daddy. Soon those other people would just have to find a hero of their own.

"Mommy! Brennan! Watch me!" Kassidy called happily from the middle of the field. After capturing her audience's attention she turned her face towards the sun and spread her arms out wide. She began to spin around and around like a top. She watched as the clouds melted into the blue sky, creating a beautiful swirl of white and blue. Kassie giggled as she began to get dizzy. The sky seemed to lurch and fall onto its side. Soon she stumbled and dropped to the ground. She could hear Brennan's childish giggles and her mother's musical laughter. She sighed happily and moved to lie on her back in the wet grass. Kassie massaged her fingers into the lawn and felt the damp earth push its way under her fingernails. A blue bird flew across the sky and she idly wondered if she could fly too. She hadn't felt this free and happy in a long time. She felt like she could soar through the clouds and join the birds as they danced across the sky.

Kassie heard singing and propped herself up on an elbow to watch her mother. Mommy was singing an old Cole Porter song called "Begin the Beguine." It was one of her favorites. She told Kassie that it reminded her of Daddy. Kassie watched her mother dance with Brennan safely tucked in her arms. She smiled as her mother twirled around, her long brown hair swirling about her body. Kassie loved it when Mommy sang. She sang all of the time. She would sing when she was happy, sad, cooking, cleaning, or putting Kassie and Brennan to sleep. She sang the best, though, when she was dancing. Kassie could sing very well, also. People said that she got her singing talent from Mommy. They told her that her daddy couldn't sing for the life of him. She wasn't too sure what that meant but she had heard Daddy sing before and it wasn't pretty. Not like Mommy, anyway.

Kassidy got up and joined the dancing. Her mother held a hand out for her and they danced together, with Brennan between them beaming happily. Mommy led Kassidy into a twirl and continued singing.

_Oh yes, let them begin the beguine, make them play  
Till the stars that were there before return above you,  
Till you whisper to me once more,  
Darling, I love you!  
And we suddenly know what heaven we're in,  
When they begin the beguine_

When the song ended, Brennan squealed and clapped. Mommy laughed and looked at Kassidy mischievously. She suddenly took off running towards the playground that lay at the edge of the park. She looked over her shoulder and called for Kassidy to follow her. Kassie smiled at the laughter in her mother's voice and took off after her. She soon found herself climbing through the bars of the jungle gym to reach her mother and Brennan. Kassie stood for a moment and looked at the bars surrounding them. It was as though they were inside a giant birdcage. Oddly enough, the bars were comforting, rather than confining. They were keeping all of the bad stuff outside, away from Kassie and her family. She turned to watch her mother sitting in the grass, leaning back against the bars. Mommy's head was tilted back as she laughed at Brennan's jabbering. Her hair was dragging against the ground, but she didn't seem to mind at all. Brennan sat nestled between her legs, playing with some blades of grass and babbling on in his nonsensical way.

Kassie moved to sit next to her mommy. Her mother wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. She closed her eyes and listened to the happy noises her family was making. Her mother was promising them homemade cookies when they went home. Kassidy didn't think she could get any happier than this. Nothing could upset her now that Brennan was home.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Mutant X or any characters you recognize. The poem is "Out of the Rolling Ocean the Crowd" by Walt Whitman.

A/N: Hey guys, another chapter. Yay, right? Hope you enjoy it. Don't forget to review!

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Mommy's sweet voice floated through the little room. It flowed through Kassie like warm honey, soothing and sweet. Kassie stretched out on her stomach, resting her chin on her hands to watch her mother. Mommy sat curled in the rickety old rocking chair, swaying gently next to the fireplace. The fire barely lit Mommy's face as she rocked back and forth, softly reciting poetry. Kassie loved to listen to Mommy when she read from her poetry books. The fascinating words spilled, like liquid, from Mommy's lips.

"Out of the rolling ocean the crowd came a drop gently to me," Mommy's voice sang softly through the room. Her deep brown eyes studied each word intently.

"_Whispering_ _I love you, before long I die,_

_I have travel'd a long way merely to look on you to touch you,_

_For I could not die till I once look'd on you,_

_For I fear'd I might afterward lose you."_

Kassie had heard this poem many times before. Kassie was to young to understand the real meaning of the poem, but the lyrical words brought her comfort. Mommy's voice was always so quiet and passionate when she recited poetry. It often sounded like she was telling Kassidy and Brennan a very important secret, too beautiful and magical to be revealed to others.

"_Now we have met, we have look'd, we are safe,_

_Return in peace to the ocean my love,_

_I too am part of that ocean my love, we are not so much separated,"_

Kassidy may have been young, but she was not too young to know that Mommy was talking about Daddy. Mommy always read this poem when she missed Daddy and she really missed him today. Kassie could see it in Mommy's eyes, hear it in her voice, smell it in the four dozen Christmas cookies sitting on the counter waiting to be sent to soldiers in a far away war. A few silky strands slipped free from Mommy's braid to obscure her vision. Kassie watched as her mother brought a delicate hand up to brush the offending tresses aside. The small fire set Mommy's wedding band ablaze with light. She paused momentarily, in movement and recitation, to consider the simple ring. A single tear fell from her large brown eyes to land perfectly on the ring. Mama raised the ring to her lips and kissed it tenderly. Kassie watched in childish wonder.

Kassie didn't like it when Mommy cried. It always made her cry too. That couldn't happen today! It was Christmas! No one should be sad on Christmas, especially Kassidy Mulwray. Everything was perfect. The presents were perfect. The Christmas tree was perfect. The house looked perfect. They even remembered to set up the cresh this year. To top everything off, Daddy had even sent them a Christmas card. Kassie had cradled the card as though it were a precious jewel. She tried to show it to Brennan and explain to him where it had come from, but he was too busy playing with his new toys. Mommy said he was too young to understand and they'd have to wait until Bren was big like Kassie.

_"Behold the great rondure, the cohesion of all, how perfect!_

_But as for me, for you, the irresistible sea is to separate us,_

As for an hour carrying us diverse, yet cannot carry us diverse forever;"

Mommy continued reading the poem, though now her voice was thick with sadness. The firelight caught the silvery trails, which slowly slid down her cheeks. As she rocked gently, Mommy hugged the little book to her chest. She held it, cradled between her arms and chest, with all her strength. Her glistening eyes shut tightly, yet not tight enough to stop the flow of tears. A frown of distress marred her beautiful face while she tried to control the sobs that threatened to rise up and consume her. Mommy sat there, hunched in the rocking chair, eyes shut with the book of poems clasped tightly to her heart. All of her love, desperation, sadness, and passion seeped into her voice as she recited the last lines from memory.

_"Be not impatient—a little space—know you I salute the air, the _

_ocean and the land,_

_Every day at sundown for your dear sake my love."_

Silence reined as the poem ended. Kassidy did not know how to best comfort her mother. Her mind raced searching for ideas, each one discarded. Even little Brennan seemed unnaturally silent. It was so unnerving that Kassie jumped when the doorbell pierced through the quiet. It took her a moment to realize what the sound had signified. By the time her mind caught up with her, Kassidy was already halfway to the door. She dodged through mountains of wrapping paper and nearly tripped over Brennan and his new "fye tuck." She heard her mother warning her not to open the door alone. Mommy said that Kassie was a big girl but she still wasn't old enough to talk to strangers.

Kassidy bounced up and down as she waited by the front door. All sadness and distress was erased by the childish dreams of what could be outside. Had Santa forgotten something? Was it a pony? Maybe a unicorn? It was all too exciting for Kassie. Disregarding Mommy's warning, Kassie flung the door open wide, her eyes searching the porch for her Christmas surprise, only to find a man in a uniform. Kassidy was confused and very disappointed. This wasn't what she was expecting.

"Where's my pony?" she asked, with innocence only a five year old could manage. She saw the man grimace slightly. He had very sad eyes that looked at her with pity. She could tell that he didn't want to be the one on her doorstep any more than she wanted him there.

"Kassidy Alexis Mulwray! I told you not to open that door! What on Earth were you--" Kassie was even more confused when Mommy broke off in the middle of her lecture. Kassidy turned around to see Mommy staring at the uniformed man. She looked very pale and shaky, eyes wide with horror. She took two stumbling steps forward and rested a trembling hand on Kassie's shoulder. "Kass, go play with Brennan while I talk to this nice man. Ok, honey?"

Kassidy looked up at Mommy in confusion. She was starting to get scared. Mommy said the man was nice, but her voice was laced with fear and dread. Kassie decided it was best to do as her mother said, especially since she was close to getting in trouble anyway. She nodded and, after casting a final suspicious look at the man, she picked her way back through the debris. Instead of sitting where Brennan was playing on the far side of the room, Kassidy hauled her little brother to his feet and slowly dragged him over by the door to the entryway. She finally settled down so that Brennan was quietly playing, while she spied on Mommy.

Mommy's entire body was shaking with quiet sobs. Her beautiful hair fell out of its braid to shadow her face. Kassie could see something in her mother's hands but she couldn't tell what it was. Whatever it was, Mommy seemed to be studying it closely. When she raised her head, Mommy's hair fell back revealing her puffy eyes and tear stained face. What shocked Kassidy the most, thought, was the rage in her mother's eyes.

"A flag?" Mommy's voice was quiet and rough, as though she had been screaming for hours. The uniformed man shifted uncomfortably in front of Mommy. He kept opening and closing his mouth, trying to find something to say that might calm the distressed woman. Suddenly Mommy's quiet voice rose to an enraged yell. "A flag! My husband, the man I love, dies and you give me a flag? You actually came here, on Christmas of all days, to tell me that the father of my children was taken prisoner and executed, and…and now you're giving me some sick consolation prize? Fuck you _and_ your damn flag!"

With that Mommy threw the flag back at the shocked man. She collapsed to her knees, covering her face with shaking hands, and sobbed uncontrollably. Kassidy sat in shock. She had never seen her mother lose control like that. Mommy never cursed and she hardly ever yelled. Kassie turned her wide eyes to the man. As she stared at the nervous man's uniform her mother's words started to sink in. Daddy's dead? No! It's not true. The man must have lied. Daddy wouldn't die. He promised Kassie he would be back for her. Daddy never breaks his promises.

Even as the reassurances filled her mind, Kassie's heart filled with despair. Tears streamed down the little girls cheeks as her mind fought to deny the truth. She sobbed, pulling her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms tightly around them, as she watched the man try to console Mommy. Mommy kept pushing the man away, screaming at him to leave, sobbing her heart out into the carpet. Kassie's mind finally registered the wailing cries of her baby brother. Brennan. He was so young. Too young to understand what had happened. He had never even met Daddy. Now he never would. Kassidy sobbed even harder as she pulled her brother into her arms. She held him, rocking, as they both cried together with their mother's hysterical sobs. Before long, the children fell silent. They were exhausted and drained from crying. Together they drifted asleep, lulled by the sound of their mother's tears.


End file.
